What If
by tobleroneo
Summary: What if Sakura's hair was actually green? What if Sasuke actually like ramen? What if Kakashi's book was actually was a cooking book? What if...
1. Green Blossom

I'MMMM back! I would like to thank the people who read my stories and the people who made anime/manga. I made up this story while I was roaming around the net. This is my first Naruto story! WAI! Now, on with the story!

Sasuke: Why are we here?

Sakura: Yeah, why ARE we here?

Naruto: RAMEN!

Me: Because of the story. You people are in it. But in the first chapter Sasuke and Kakashi aren't in it.

Kakashi: WHY? I wanna see Sakura in green hair!

Sakura: Shut up you perveted sensai.

Kakashi: Ouch, that hurt. -puts hand on heart-

Gai: Stop being a baby.

Me: On with the story!

Disclaimer: -sniffle- Unfortunately, I do not own Naruto. If I did, Rock Lee's eyebrows wouldn't be THAT bushy. No offence to Lee lovers.

thinking "talking" (authors note) -something-

**Chapter 1: Green Blossom**

It was a beautiful day in the Leaf Village. All was well, no danger was near, Kakashi was...well you know what he was doing. But what was wrong was...Sakura's hair was GREEN!

"Sakura, what happened to your hair?" asked Naruto, staring at Sakura's hair while eating his ramen.

"Well...this is my natural hair colour, Naruto," replied Sakura, red from embarrasement. Nobody knew about this, not even Ino. She had hid this from everyone because she thought they would laugh at her and tease her about it.(A/N:I don't hate Sakura, but this was the first thing that came into my mind!)

"How come you never told the gang about this? Nobody would've laughed -coughexceptKakashicough-," Naruto was confused. He thought he was her bestfriend! Well, aside from Sasuke.

"Well, you see...my favourite colour isn't exactly green, and it clashes with my outfit," replied Sakura. She hated explaining things. Especially to Naruto. Why couldn't Naruto act like Sasuke? Then he would be smart, and eat ramen like a normal person(I eat ramen like that too! So I'm not actually dissing him). Then suddenly, in dismay, Rock Lee showed up.

"SAKURAAAAAA!" shouted Lee, "Look what I got for you!" Everybody looked at the flowers that were in his hands.

"Blossoms, thank you Lee..." thanked Sakura. I wonder why he didn't notice my hair? Thought Sakura. She began eating her ramen.(Just pretend she ordered ramen).

Suddenly, Lee's eyes bulged. He stayed like that for an hour.Then finally, he spoke.

"Sakura, what happened to you HAIR?" exclaimed Lee, then he spoke in a charming voice -coughnotcough-"Not that I hate you like this, I still love you."

Naruto and Sakura sweatdropped. How can anyone be so, so well, I don't know! they both thought. They continued eating their ramen like nothing happened. Naruto was busily ordering more ramen, Sakura was thinking of dying her hair pink again, but thought about changing it to dark blue. Then maybe Sasuke would notice her. Or Kakashi would start laughing at her. And Ino teasing her.

"Arghhhh! Can't take it anymore! Naruto, What colour should I dye my hair!" Exploded Sakura. Silence. Silence for about 10 minutes. Another 10 minutes. Then another. And another.

"I know!" Naruto suddenly said, "You should dye your hair blonde! Like me!" Sakura looked at him like he had a problem. Lee fainted.

Then Itachi popped out of nowhere and said,"You should dye it orange." and he disappeared. After 5 minutes, Lee woke up and dusted himself off.

"Well, I must be going. Gai-sensai is going to worry about me! Love ya Sakura, bye Naruto!"

"Naruto, it is getting dark. I think I should be getting home. See you tomorrow!" so Sakura left leaving poor Naruto thinking about dying his hair pink.

Poor Naruto-kun! I feel so sorry for him. But I wouldn't dye my hair blonde. It doesn't look good on me.

Sakura: Wow, I didn't know dying hair could be so evil.

Naruto: Pink or blonde, pink or blonde, pink or blonde...-hides in corner of room-

Sasuke: -Reads script for next chapter- No way am I saying this! -points to "I WUV RAMEN"-

Me: You are going to read it or else you have to spend 2 hours with Lee in that room -points to room that is only 3 metres wide and 4 metres high-

Sasuke: NOOOO!

Me: So, please review. You see that bottom that says go? press that!


	2. Ramen King

You know what? I'm going to do another chapter. More chapters more reviews, right? I'm really happy that some of you read my stories, but only 2 reviewed. Oh well, that's good enough for me! I'd like to thank:

**Reiko no Tori: I'll try to make this chapter longer. Thnx for the review!**

**Trenchcoatgirl-Kyo: Thnx for the review! I really am thank full for it! **

Sakura: So short author notes?

Me: Yes -sigh-.

Sasuke: She feels so sad.

Me: -traps Sasuke into magical cage-

Kakashi: -stares at me weirdly- Obsessed.-sigh-

Me: -traps Kaka-chan into other magical cage-

Disclaimer: Me no own, so you no sue. Got it? -runs away from evil lawyers-

'thinking' "talking" (authors note) -something-

Everybody is 15 except Lee. He's 16.

**Chapter 2: Evil Ramen**

The next morning, Team 7 were waiting for Kakashi, as usual. The sky was blue, the birds were chirping and Sasuke was nowhere to be seen. Wait, Sasuke not there?That can't be right. Sakura and Naruto were talking about their hair. Sakura finally decided on pink, and Naruto stuck to blonde. Turns out they only had two choices. Pink or blonde.

Sakura was wearing a red tanktop with blue mini shorts. She figured that there would be lots of sweating when they were finished training. IF they finish training that is. She also wore a choker, with red boots. Sakura's obsession with Sasuke was almost over, but she did keep on fighting with Ino. They were like Sasuke and Naruto.

Naruto was wearing his usual clothes. While talking to Sakura, he noticed Sakura wasn't really paying attention, so he started to fall asleep. 10 minutes passed. 20 minutes passed, then 30, then 40, then an hour passed when suddenly, Sakura had enough.

"ARGHHH! I can't take it anymore! We're finding Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei RIGHT NOW!" yelled Sakura. She had steam coming out of her ears.

So they went to search for them. Half of the way, Naruto's stomache started growling.

"Sakura, I want to eat!" whined Naruto. His tears were threatning to spill.

"Ok, ok!"

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They got to Naruto's favourite ramen stand(forgot what it was called), when they found Kakashi standing there, reading his little book. Beside him was Sasuke glomping down a HUGE bowl of ramen. They didn't even notice Naruto and Sakura standing there.

"S-Sasuke-kun.. is that you?" stuttered Sakura. She couldn't believe that someone like Sasuke would eat ramen like Naruto.

"Mmmshda asyadsdfas," said Sasuke while eating ramen.

"What did you say?" asked Naruto, his eyes bulging.

Sasuke swallowed the rest of his ramen and answered, in his cool voice, "I said, dobe, yes it's me Sakura."

"I never knew you liked ramen," commented Sakura.

Sasuke's eyes bulged. He took what Sakura said as an insult and his tears started to fall like a waterfall.

"I don't LIKE them, I WUV RAMEN!" cried Sasuke. He didn't stop crying until Kakashi wacked him on the head.

"Stop crying or you'll floud the village, got that?" asked Kakashi, really irrated. His eyebrow was twitching violently.

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"Finally we can train!" exclaimed Naruto, full from the ramen.

"Wait, I have some questions," said Sakura. She turned to Sasuke. "Sasuke-kun, since when did you like ramen?"

"I started to like eating ramen when I was 13," replied Sasuke, cuddling up with a cup of instant ramen.

"But I'm the Ramen King, not you!" shreaked Naruto, his tears spilling everywhere.(notice that everyone's crying)

"I said this to Sasuke and I'll say it to you, stop crying or you'll floud the village!" shouted Kakashi. Shaking his head.

"Then tell Sasuke I'm King of Ramen, not him!"

"I never said I was King of Ramen," Sasuke said cooly, "I just said I WUV RAMEN!"

"F-ck! I'm gonna get a head ache and go deaf with this screaming and shouting!" cursed Kakashi.

Everybody stared at him. Suddenly, Gai-sensei and his team appeared.

"...," was all they said.

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sorry, I can't make this chappy longer 'cuz my dad's telling me to go to bed.

PLEASE REVIEW!


	3. Cooking Paradise

Yo! Back with another chappy! I might be updating daily, but if school gets in the way, then dundundun... anyways, back with chapter 2, why did Gai and his team pop out of nowhere? Does it have to do with Kakashi? Read the summary people. READ.

Kakashi: Oh great. Somethings going to happen to me. I know it.

Me: Not only you, but your precious Icha Icha Paradise.

Kakashi: NOOOOOOOO! -cries-

Gai: Hahaha!

Me: Shut up Gai or I'll make YOU suffer -laughs manicacly-

Gai: NOOOOOO! -cries-

Disclaimey: ME NO OWN! -boohoo-

'thinking' "talking" (author's note) -something-

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Last Time:

"Finally we can train!" exclaimed Naruto, full from the ramen.

"Wait, I have some questions," said Sakura. She turned to Sasuke. "Sasuke-kun, since when did you like ramen?"

"I started to like eating ramen when I was 13," replied Sasuke, cuddling up with a cup of instant ramen.

"But I'm the Ramen King, not you!" shreaked Naruto, his tears spilling everywhere.(notice that everyone's crying)

"I said this to Sasuke and I'll say it to you, stop crying or you'll floud the village!" shouted Kakashi. Shaking his head.

"Then tell Sasuke I'm King of Ramen, not him!"

"I never said I was King of Ramen," Sasuke said cooly, "I just said I WUV RAMEN!"

"F-ck! I'm gonna get a head ache and go deaf with this screaming and shouting!" cursed Kakashi.

Everybody stared at him. Suddenly, Gai-sensei and his team appeared.

"...," was all they said.

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**Chapter 3: Cooking Paradise**

"Gai, what are YOU doing here?" asked Kakashi. Of course, he knew what Gai came for. He just wouldn't want his team to know about it. So he motioned Gai to the forest. But Gai shook his head because he wanted to embarrass Kakashi.

"Why, my old buddy, I came to pick up my book. You had it for such a LONG time," replied Gai, snickering. But that was quickly replaced by a smirk before Rock Lee could see. Gai was wearing his usual clothes, but his eyebrows were bushier than usual.

Rock Lee was wearing a BLUE jump suit and suprisingly(not) his eyebrows were bushier too. He had a BIG HUMOUNGUS grin on his face and he was hiding something behind his back. He gelled his hair and dyed his bangs (not permanetly) gold. All that said, he was just a normal Rock Lee.

Neji was not there since he jumped into a tree and slept(think of Inuyasha). But no one really noticed.

Tenten was wearing a blue outfit with her hair tied into a ponytail. She had special blue ribbons tied around her wrists so that if someone attempted to cut her wrists, it would only scrape the ribbon.

Anyways, back to the subject.

"What are you talking about?" questioned Kakashi. He was now sweating and the mask didn't help.

"The BOOK you borrowed? Remember? Your team should know, you always read it when they're training," said Gai. His smirk turned into a grin. 'Hehe Kakashi..' Gai thought.

"What book did he borrow from you? All he reads when we're training is his Icha Icha Paradise," Sakura said, getting a little teensy weensy bit suspicious.

"He doesn't read Icha Icha Paradise books, he reads my cooking books, and he never returns them," snickered Gai.

Everybody stared at Kakashi, and stared, and stared, and stared. (in all the chapters I've done, there's always staring)Sakura was the first one to break out of the trance.

"So Kakashi-sensei actually reads cooking books," stated Sakura, thinking this is a dream. 'I mean, come on! Kakashi, not perverted? You've got to be kidding me!' thought Sakura. Her head was dizzy and started punching herself.

"S-so y-y-you were a-actual-ly r-read-ding c-c-cook-king b-book-ks!" laughed Naruto, holding onto his sides. He was afraid he was going to laugh them off.

"Yes, NAR-U-TO," stated Kakashi, his visible eyebrow twitching. He knew Gai would try to embarrass him. He started to back away.

"PLEASE!" Lee suddenly shouted. He had two HUMONGY lumps on his head,"PLEASE! BE MY GIRLFRIEND!" He was begging Sakura to be his girlfriend. After 191654619684654676454647965 pleases, he had 3546516576565 lumps on his head and no Sakura, and after Sakura said 61651659846531351465486476646 nos, she had a throbbing hand and a big grin plastered on her fist.

Back to Kakashi:

Kakashi started to back away but got cornered into a very very small corner. So he started to wimper like a lost puppy, or should I say lost Kakashi, and tears were spilling down his cheeks (or should I say mask).

Gai was grinning maniacly and laughing like a mad scientist.

Ok... this is to be continued 'cuz I can't think of any other ideas so... plz review and give me ideas!


	4. Cooking Paradise Part 2

I'm gonna make this clear. ME NO OWN. There.

**Sasuke**: Wow, you're actually serious this time.

**Me**: Well duh. I'm going to thank the people who reviewed at the bottom. 'kay? And I'm sorry for not updating.

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**Last Time:**

"PLEASE!" Lee suddenly shouted. He had two HUMONGY lumps on his head,"PLEASE! BE MY GIRLFRIEND!" He was begging Sakura to be his girlfriend. After 191654619684654676454647965 pleases, he had 3546516576565 lumps on his head and no Sakura, and after Sakura said 61651659846531351465486476646 nos, she had a throbbing hand and a big grin plastered on her fist.

Back to Kakashi:

Kakashi started to back away but got cornered into a very very small corner. So he started to wimper like a lost puppy, or should I say lost Kakashi, and tears were spilling down his cheeks (or should I say mask).

Gai was grinning maniacly and laughing like a mad scientist.

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**Chapter 3: Cooking Paradise Part 2**

"AHHH!" screamed a certain youth, "MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!"

Everybody turned their heads toward Sakura and Lee. There, in the spotlight of everything, was Lee, his head shining because of the baldness his head gathered.(Thankies to chuunin alchemist for the idea!)

Then everybody turned there head towards Sakura's way, and saw her holding Lee's wig and doing her victory dance.

"LEE! MY YOUTHFUL STUDENT! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR STYLISH AND SEXY HAIR(I just HAD to put that there)!" screamed a heart broken youthful sensei. He and Lee and had tears running down their face.

Kakashi rolled his eyes. 'Why is everybody crying?' he thought, when suddenly Naruto took one of Gai's books.

"AHH! IT BURNS!" shouted Naruto, covering his eyes from the err...disturbing picture he was looking at.

"What is it dobe?" asked Sasuke, in his slick voice. He took the book from Naruto's hands and looked inside.

"YOU'RE RIGHT! IT BURNS!" Sasuke threw the book into a tree just for it to fall back down on the ground right infront of the two boys and the book was turned to a certain page.

"Hey hey, don't do that. You might damage it and Gai won't let me borrow his 'stuff' anymore," said Kakashi.

You might be wondering what was on that page, but I'll let your nasty imagination take over. Joking. It was a picture a two chickens humping each other. The chickens looked suspiciously like Gai and Lee.

"What are you guys looking at?" questioned Sakura, walking towards them.

"Sakura my love! How could you! You took my hair and now you're walking away!" wailed Lee, banging his fists on the ground while rolling on nature's floor. Right now, mother nature must be barfing in disgust.

"Sakura-chan! Don't come near the book!" warned Naruto, but it was too late.

"Ahh! My eyes! Kakashi-sensei! How could you READ such a book?" screamed Sakura. Man, did she have a high pitched scream. Higher then Ino's, that's for sure. She took the book and threw it in a tree a certain Neji was sitting in.

Suddenly they heard a higher-pitched scream.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GET THIS, THIS THING AWAY FROM ME! THIS IS EVEN WORSE THEN SEEING LEE AND GAI BATHE TOGETHER!"

All of them turned their heads towards the tree.

"Neji?" asked Tenten, walking towards the tree. Then a book fell on her head.

"OWWW..." Tenten rubbed her head. Then she took the book and looked at the unturned page.

"EEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!OMG THEY LOOK SO MUCH LIKE GAI AND LEE!"

By now Gai and Lee stopped crying. They had question marks on their face and on top of their heads.

"What looks like us?" asked Lee, rubbing his well shined head.

"Nothing," everyone said in unison.

"Lee, how do you keep your head so shiney?" asked Neji.

Everybody looked at Neji with wide eyes.

"What? Can't I ask questions? Emerald!"

Me: Yes?

Neji: Can I ask questions?

Me: You already did.-leaves-

"SEE?" whined Neji. He wanted his answer.

"Well Neji, I made this head polish which has special ingredients in it. Let me tell you them: Granola bars, cooking oil, water, sugar, ham, eggs, icecream, fish oil, piece of Gai-sensei's hair(at this point Gai was crying over his piece of hair), shoe polish and toe nails," replied Lee, saying that with his memory.

Then after he said that, a couple of hawks dove in to peck on his head because, as he said, he added granola bars, sugar, ham, eggs and icecream. Since the hawks were hungry, they started pecking, and everybody started to go home, leaving poor, poor Lee to suffer.

But Gai stopped. He said to Kakashi, "My dear rival, may I ask, where is my book?"

Kakashi looked at the pile of poop the hawks had done. He saw a page of the book in there and pointed.

"On second thought, you can keep it," Gai shuddered.

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REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW PLEASE!

**Ga**i: Or the Review Monster will get you.

**Me**: Now now Gai, don't be so cruel. True, there is a Review monster, but it only eats reviews, not eat the person.

**Kakashi**: Phew.

**Reviewers:**

**Trenchcoatgirl-Kyo: Thanks! Hope you liked this chapter!**

**Vampirewitch: No, she doesn't wear makeup. **

**Michelle: Hehehe...**

**i-x3-shikamaru: That would be the day! He's too youthful..-shudder-**

**kittyclaw: Math problems? Sure...**

**xbakatare: Thankies!**

**chuunin alchemist: Thankies for the idea! Can I call you Panda bear? joking**

Ja!

Emerald Pools


	5. Math Problems Much?

5th CHAPPY! Yea! Your reviews make me very happy so.. -hands everyone ramen and a panda- This chapters is about Naruto! I figured it was time for his turn to suffer...

-insert happyface- Thank you kittyclaw for the idea. Just what would Naruto do?

**Naruto:** -reads script- WHAAAA? Emerald, are you CRAZY?

**Me: **No I'm not. It's just that it's your turn to suffer.

**Sakura:** FINALLY!

**Sasuke:** Time to get back at you -looks at blueprint for plan-

**Me:** Ahem, all of you, I would like you to meet my new muse, Himari.

**Himari:** Just to let you know, unlike most muses, I kinda get along with Emerald often. KINDA.

Anyways, I do not own Naruto, or any of the characters. Except Himaru, Himari's sister. She's in this chapter.

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**Recap: **

"Well Neji, I made this head polish which has special ingredients in it. Let me tell you them: Granola bars, cooking oil, water, sugar, ham, eggs, icecream, fish oil, piece of Gai-sensei's hair(at this point Gai was crying over his piece of hair), shoe polish and toe nails," replied Lee, saying that with his memory.

Then after he said that, a couple of hawks dove in to peck on his head because, as he said, he added granola bars, sugar, ham, eggs and icecream. Since the hawks were hungry, they started pecking, and everybody started to go home, leaving poor, poor Lee to suffer.

But Gai stopped. He said to Kakashi, "My dear rival, may I ask, where is my book?"

Kakashi looked at the pile of poop the hawks had done. He saw a page of the book in there and pointed.

"On second thought, you can keep it," Gai shuddered.

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**Chapter 5: Math Problems Much?**

After what happened yesterday, Lee bought a new wig, and Kakashi swore to never borrow anything from Gai anymore.

Now, today, Kakashi thought his training techniques needed problems. Math problems.

'Ha, take that Naruto for laughing at me,' thought Kakashi, looking over the math questions. He was sure Sasuke and Sakura would know these questions, but not Naruto.

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"Well, this time Kakashi-sensei is 10 HOURST LATE!" complained Sakura. She had a unpleasent morning today. First, she couldn't find her toothbrush. Then, she couldn't find her favourite outfit. After that, she was stalked by Lee. FINALLY, she made it.

"Awww.. don't get so cranky Sakura-chan," whined Naruto. He hated to see her upset. Hell, even he had horrible morning. He couldn't eat any ramen because he choked on his toothpaste. THAT, was the most terrible thing Naruto thought of. Not eating ramen.

"Hn," replied Sasuke to the group.

"Hey guys!" greeted a cheery sensei.

"YOU'RE LATE!" yelled Naruto and Sakura in unison.

"Well, you see, I got lost on the road of math," explained Kakashi. (Thought it was road of life, eh?)

"LIA-, wait, road of math?" chorused Naruto and Sakura.

"Yes, here -hands out paper-, you have to answer these questions. My cousin Himaru will help you if you need any help."

"You have a cousin?" asked Sasuke.

"YEPPERS!" yelled a hyper voice. There stood a female teenager. She had silver hair with red streaks. "Am I late?"

Everybody looked at her.

"I take that as a yes. I'm Himaru, Kakashi's younger cousin. Himari is my older sister. You see, I got lost on the road of life," geeze, doesn't that sound familiar.

"Hey, someone mention me?"

Everybody turned around to see a middle-aged girl, with red hair. (Ha! Himari's in it too!)

"Hi Himari. You help them too, 'kay?" Kakashi said.

"Yeah," replied Himari.

"Okay, start!"

Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto took their pencils and looked at the problems. It was like this:

1)1+1 2)1-1+ 3)1x1 and every question with ones in it.

Sakura and Sasuke finished their's in 10 seconds. Naruto was still looking at the paper.

"Naruto, are you okay? These are easy questions, you should know them," said a worried Sakura.

"Let him think," said Himaru. Inside, she was snickering.

**'That's not nice, but hey, why am I complaining? I'm mean too' (She has an inner too)**

'Not you again. What do you want?'

**'I'm bored. I want to switch places.'(They can switch places too!)**

'No.'

**'PWEASE? I promise not to get you drunk and get you hooked up with a lesbian, 70 year-old man and a cat anymore!'**

'Why should I trust you? You said that last time, and what did you do?'

**'Hey! That guy was 71!'**

'Just the same.'

**'Pwease?-does puppy eyes-'**

'Fine.'

**'YES!'**

"Hey, Himaru, you okay?" asked Kakashi. She looked like she changed.

"Yes I'm okay Kagashi," answered Himaru.

"WAIT! You're not Himaru! You're her inner!" yelled Himari.

"She has an inner too?" asked Sakura, a little suprised that she wasn't the only one who had an inner.

"Yea she does."

"How did you know I was her inner?" questioned Higaru. (Her inner's name is Higaru.)

"First, she looks drunk. Second, she was looking at a 70 year old's ass. Third, she's talking lesbian!" replied Himari. -sweatdrop-

"You forgot that she said my name wrong. She never says my name wrong," said Kakashi, taking out one of his perverted books. (YES! this time it's his real books!)

"HELP!"

Higaru and Himari looked at Naruto.

"Kid, these questions are so easy a pre-schooler can answer these in seconds," said Higaru and Himari in unison.

"B-b-but.. this is hard!" whined Naruto. When everybody was staring at Naruto, Higaru took the chance to chase after a cat and the 70 guy.

"Hey, what happened to Himaru?" asked Sakura.

"Uh-oh, she better not be chasing cats and stalking lesbians and 70 year old people again," said a worried/annoyed Himari.

"I STILL NEED HELP!" screamed Naruto. Man, who knew a boy could scream like a girl.

"Look, 1+1. Take 1 cup of ramen and another cup of ramen. What do you get?" explained Sasuke. (AWWW, Sasuke helping Naruto.

"I get 11!" smiled Naruto, now daydreaming of ramen.

"No you idiot!"

"Don't call me idiot tomato lover!"

"Ramen humper!"

"Penis pincher!"

"Why you thong, bra, booger, ass and gay people lover!

-thwack-

"Don't diss Sasuke-kun!" scolded Sakura, with her big golden log of doom.

"BUT HE STARTED IT!" tattled Naruto, crying like he would never stop.

"NU-UH!"

"YEA-HUH!"

"NU-UH!"

"YEA-HUH!"

"N-"

"STOP IT NOW!" -thwack- -tap-

"Hey, why didn't you hit Sasuke!" whined Naruto, his big bump on his head getting bigger.

"I did hit him," said Sakura.

"YOU TAPPED HIM!"

"STOP!" yelled Kakashi.

All was quiet. Everybody was scared. Even Higaru stopped stalking the grampa and chasing the cat. When Kakashi was mad, you gotta watch out.

"Naruto," continued Kakashi, "How can you not know the answer to these questions? And Sasuke, stop acting so baby-ish. That's Naruto's job!"

"B-b-but..." they both whimpered.

"Go to you rooms!" screeched Kakashi. Sakura and the whole village covered their ears.

"Yes mother," Naruto and Sasuke obeyed.

"And Naruto," started Kakashi. He had an evil smile on. But hey, who could tell?

"Yes mother?" replied a shaking Naruto.

"FINISH YOUR MATH AND BRUSSEL SPROUTS!"

Sasuke and Naruto quickly sprinted back to their house, trying to get away from Kakashi's wrath.

"Does this happen often?" asked Himari, standing there like nothing happened.

"No," replied Sakura, shocked that Himari was not affected by Kakashi's outburst.

"Oh, just thought that if he always did that at home, then maybe he would do it here."

-sweatdrop-

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There! I think this is my longest chapter ever. -smiles-

**Himaru:** Okay...So if Himari's you muse and my sister, does that mean I'm your muse too?

**Me: **No, you're my friend so I command you to get me a soda!

**Himari:** Hey, does that mean I get to order her around too?

**Me: **no

PWEASE REVIEW! Or I'll get Himaru and Himari to get you. -looks at you- On second thought, you decide to review or not -backs away-


	6. Troublesome Curse

You know, since I finished Kakashi's team, I'm doing Asuma's team! First of all, this chapter is really special because lots of people -cough2chough- asked for it. Now... I'm going to embarrass... SHIKAMARU!

**Shika:** This is so troublesome...

**Me:** This is why we love you. But it's too troublesome to tell you.

**Himari:** Since Emerald doesn't want to thank the reviewers, I will.

**Himaru: **WHAT ABOUT ME? -cries into fur of pet cat Hinaru-

**Me:** I guess you can help...

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**Recap:**

"And Naruto," started Kakashi. He had an evil smile on. But hey, who could tell?

"Yes mother?" replied a shaking Naruto.

"FINISH YOUR MATH AND BRUSSEL SPROUTS!"

Sasuke and Naruto quickly sprinted back to their house, trying to get away from Kakashi's wrath.

"Does this happen often?" asked Himari, standing there like nothing happened.

"No," replied Sakura, shocked that Himari was not affected by Kakashi's outburst.

"Oh, just thought that if he always did that at home, then maybe he would do it here."

-sweatdrop-

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**Chapter 6: Troublesome Curse**

-newscaster voice- Today, something horrible will happen. I just know it. But, of course I know it, I made it up! But YOU will have to find out yourself. MUHAHAHA!

Such a beautiful day it was in the Leaf village, the children playing, the adults working, gambling and cheating on each other.. wait, cheating on each other? Pretend you didn't hear that. Anyways, with such a beautiful day, Ino decided to ask a question.

"Asuma-sensei, do you know why Shikamaru always say troublesome?" asked Ino, staring at her nails, observing them if there was a broken nail.

"No, but why don't you ask him?" suggested Asuma.

"Yeah -chomp- why -chomp- don't you -chomp- ask -chomp- him?" supported Chouji (Himari here, just asking, is there a 'u' in chouji?)

So they walked towards Shikamaru in a field, talking to someone...

"SHIKA!" shreeked Ino, scaring away whatever Shika (hehe) was talking to.

Shikamaru glared at her before muttering, "Told you not to call me that, troublesome-pig."

But Ino's glare was starting to make him scared and he tried to run for his life. Poor Shika, he couldn't because he was surronded.

"What do you want?" sighed Shika.

"Why do you always say 'troublesome'?" they asked in unison. Well, Asuma and Ino asked, Chouji was eating a big plate of stake.

Shika tried to look for a place to escape, but there was a tree behind him, Chouji on his right, Ino in front of him, Asuma on his left and a tree branch above his head. He tried digging his way out, but soon found out he couldn't because he was sitting on a log. (Lets just say he used so much of his chakra he couldn't use any jutsus, k?)

"This is too troublesome," started Shikamaru, "well, I'm cursed with this troublesome monster. It keeps on saying troublesome over and over again.

Suddenly, a drawf like creature that looked like a pig and a cyclops cross-over popped out and screamed.

"TROUBLESOME!" it screeched. Then it was doing a weird dance that looked like a cross-over of the moon walk and tango. Then it started to do the MACERAINA(sp?)! But the worst part of it was at the end, it started to strip. Now, it was a male, but... IT DIDN'T HAVE A PENIS!

"AHHHH! IT BURNS!" screamed Ino, running for her dear life like as if she was going to get raped.

Chouji was daydreaming about food, food, and food. When he looked at the 'thing', he thought it was a sausage. But when he got a good look at it, he started barfing out blood and rolling around the grass.

Asuma was shocked. So shocked, that the only thing he could do was let his tears roll down his cheeks and whispering, "So beautiful."

Shika looked normal, probably because he seen this lots of time. In fact, he saw this 1959516846146546514665431314547533 times already. Now, you're probably wondering what happened to the 'thing'. Well, now it seems to be doing the salsa and disco.

Then it put on a thong and started to hump itself. Everybody started screaming and screeching. Villagers wondered what was going on and looked. 1.5 seconds later they were rolling on the ground and crying, or some were covering their eyes and saying, "So beautiful," or "Why can't I be him," or "1000000000 yen so you can dance at my club!"

"TROUBLESOME!" it screamed again, this time humping a sandwich.

"They shouldn't have asked that, troublesome people," said Shika, walking away. The 'thing' noticed and decided to stalk him.

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Short chapter 'cuz I have no idea what I should do next.

**Reviews!**

**Kittyclaw:**

**Himari:** Wow, we made you feel special.

**Himaru:** Wow, we made you feel special.

**Sunai:** Himaru, stop copying her. Remember last time? -shudders-

**Himaru: **SUNAI-KUN! -glomps him-

**Trenchcoatgirl-Kyo:**

**Himaru:** Disturbing? Cool.

**Himari: **She means you.

**Himaru:** Oh...

**Kaisho: **Ewww... Himari.. your sister is gross. -looks at Himaru- I mean.. her inner is gross.

**Himari:** KAISHO BABY! -jumps him-

**Hachinoko:**

**Kaisho: **Ino fat? That would be the day.

**Sunai:** You do know Himari has a tracking device on you. -sweatdrop-

**Go Go Gal 13:**

**Himari: **There you go! Another chapter!

**Himaru: **There you go! Another chapter!

**Himari: **Stop it.

**Himaru: **Stop it.

Kaisho and Sunai are my new characters! YAY! Himari and Himaru are obsessed with them! To see their profiles, look at my Profile!


	7. AUTHOR NOTE!

NOT A CHAPTER!

Everybody, I'm having a writers block crisis... HELP! Suggestions? Thankies! While you're at it... could you review? It's just because of all the school work and stuff... My teacher lets us have stuffy contests... and these guys named Tommy, William and Kenneth brought Naruto plushies! Tommy brought Sasuke, Naruto and Kakashi, William brought Gaara and Naruto and Kenneth brought Lee. Okay, way off topic. anyways, please help this useless authoress! -promises to try and update stories-

Thankies, Emerald. Ja!


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